


Days Like These Are The Worst

by MoominJaye



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, M/M, Sad, idk - Freeform, sorta angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4720790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoominJaye/pseuds/MoominJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has a particularly bad day, and there is one thing he wants more then anything in the world on days like this but he knows he can’t ever get it again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Like These Are The Worst

Beep beep beep beep.

The familiar sound of Dan’s phone alarm rang mercilessly in his ears. He reached for the intruder on his bedside table, lent up to rest on his elbow as he flicked his unruly bed head out of his eyes, he swiped the snooze and rolled back over. Another five minutes won’t hurt.

The peace was short lived however because what seemed like only a short moment later the beeping attacked the poor man’s ears with no remorse.

Dan, now more then slightly aggravated, gripped his phone and swiped the ‘off’. Then in a fit of rage and sleepy foolishness; chucked his phone across the room, wincing at the very audible ‘crack’ that shortly followed.

He honestly didn’t mean to dose off again, but the warm, dark aura of sleep was too tempting. However, it wasn’t long before he was attempting to swat away a very annoying beam of light aiming directly for his eye. 

It was then realisation hit. Dan shot up in his bed and frantically searched the room for a means to read the time. The sun was seeping through his curtains which means he is probably very late for work!

His eyes lay on the sorry mess which was once a pristine phone and long overdue dread set deep in his chest. He rushed out of bed and knelt next to the phone, delicately picking it up, as if asking for forgiveness from the inanimate object. It seemed it still worked, he could learn to ignore the web of cracks decorating the front in time.

Just as he had expected he was gravely late. No time for a shower this morning, he would just have to hope for the best. He did, however, find time to make sure his hair was straightened, somehow. 

In the rush he nearly forgot his keys, he nearly locked himself out of his apartment which would have cause more problems then was needed, but alas he remembered just in time for his foot to stop the front door from completely shutting, although painful it was for a greater cause.

He ran out in the nippy morning breeze, briefcase in one hand, keys in mouth, trying to do up his stubborn jacket zip. That is until he heard a heart stopping rip as his hand jerked up with too little tension. His jacket zip had broken, great, just his luck. 

Deciding to forgo the jacket zipped up, he rushed down the stairs to the underground, almost slipping and falling down the marble stairs, but catching himself just in time. 

He ran up to the platform and thanked God that the train was there… he took it back however when he saw the train doors shutting, he was way too far away to catch it. Great.

He slumped down on a bench and fumbled for his phone in his pocket, he might as well text his boss to warn him that he was going to be late. 

After a too long wait the next train appeared, still no answer from his boss, he just hoped he wasn’t too angry.

He boarded the tube along with many, many others. All squishing in frantically to fit more people in. Dan was squashed quite uncomfortably in between a rather large lady’s bosoms and a very muscular, sweaty man’s armpit. The ride was filled with awkward apologies.

On finally getting to work a friendly, familiar face popped up from the reception desk.

“Good morning Mr. Howell, I couldn’t tell you how the boss is taking your tardiness to be honest, he is a mystery that one.” The boy chimed, way too chipper for a Monday morning.

“Thanks, also, no one says ‘tardiness’ anymore.” Dan replied, smirking at the response when the boy stuck his tongue out.

“Howell! How nice of you to join us.” Dan’s boss’ voice was all to familiar, loud and booming. 

“S-sorry sir! I missed the train.” 

“Of course you did. Either way, you have a lot of work to do this morning and will be staying over lunch to complete it.” The short man crossed his arms over his chest, facial expression unfaltering.

“No! Sir I can’t, I always meet someone at lunch!” 

“Better get a move on then.”

And that is exactly what Dan did; but he was getting the feeling that his boss never intended on letting him go to lunch, if the humongous work load was anything to go by. 

Once he heard the chatter of his colleagues returning from their break however he sighed heavily. He rested his elbows on the table and tiredly rubbed his eyes, muttering.

“Sorry.”

The workload didn’t let up, but he was due for a break so he made his way to the break room.

“Sup Daniel.” Another one of Dan’s colleagues greeted, standing by the microwave. 

“Hey” Dan made his way to the cupboard, opening it to grab his mug. 

A weird thing about the place that he worked was that all the workers were to bring in their own mug if they wanted to use one, therefore they could wash up their own mug and their would be no arguments. However when Dan looked around for his mug he couldn’t find it. 

“Have you seen my mug?” He asks the only other person in the room.

“Oh yeah,” She started, which caused Dan to turn and face her, she didn’t need to continue her sentence, but she did, “I was desperate for a coffee, but my mug was dirty so I used yours, hope that's ok.”

“No! No it’s not ok. That is my mug!” He snapped uncharacteristically.

“O-oh, I didn’t think it would be that much of a deal, it’s just a mug.” 

“But it’s not…” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair to calm himself down. “Sorry. It’s just, someone dear to me gave me that mug, it’s really special to me. I keep it here because it’s the best mug to calm me down from a stressful work day and I get most stressed here…” He explained a lot more calmly.

“Oh I’m really sorry! I didn’t know, here.” She poured the coffee from the mug into the sink and handed it back.

He muttered a thanks and she smiled at him sympathetically. It wasn’t anything special, it was an ordinary grey mug with a cartoon pug with a love-heart nose painted on the side. It had a chip on the rim but it still managed to both calm his heart and block his throat at the same time. 

After that escapade Dan was able to get back to his work, he managed to finish his work in time and his boss let him off easy for being late, but it was now 5 o'clock.

He got out of the building and headed through the park. It was still bright out, due to it being the less-than-magical time between Spring and Summer. 

Everything seemed so calm, it almost made Dan forget about the horrible day he had had. Almost.

He strolled through the bushes and delicately opened a fragile gate. He may not have been able to go out at lunch but he wasn’t about to skip out on the visit all together.

He followed the old crumbling stone wall like he did everyday, running his fingertips along the rough surface. Once he came to a fork in the path he took the left one leading away from the wall, like he did everyday. He hummed a quiet tune, the same one that brings back fond memories, like he did everyday, until he reached his destination.

He gracefully and respectably 'slumped’ the sit at the edge of the foot path, sitting cross legged opposite a small carved stone half buried in the ground. 

“Sup, Phil.” Dan breathed out, no longer ashamed to speak out loud like he was when he first started visiting. “You won’t believe the day I have had today.”

He sighed and leant back on his arms, resting his head back to admire the sky above. 

“It was the worst, Oh my Go- … Golly.” He didn’t care about his chosen religion, blaspheming next to a church just felt wrong.

He sighed again. “Sorry I didn’t come and see you earlier, my boss gave me an overload of papers to write, man I hate him sometimes.”

The silence that filled the gaps between his short clauses was cold but comforting. Dan had come to get used to them and welcome them as part of the regular visits he payed to Phil’s grave. 

“Those flowers are wilting a bit. Better get your mum to replace them. I bet if you were taking care of them like your bloody house plants it wouldn’t be.” He breathed a small laugh at the flush of fond memories, but like the mug, they tied a knot in his throat that threatened tears.

“How has it been this long and I still can’t stop crying at the loss?” He faked a laugh as he wiped the forming tears from his eyes.

After a longer silence then usual he spoke up again.

“I miss you so much… especially on days like these, when I just want to come home and moan to you, so you can-” He paused to wipe away another tear and sniff, “so you can tell me everything is gonna be ok. I mean, I know they are, I know it’s just a bad day but it made it so much better when I could hear you say those words to me, like even if the whole world crumbled around me at least I’d still have you… That was the plan, wasn’t it? We’d grow old together, have' a couple of kids, maybe a few dogs, and we would live a nice, full life together…”

His breath wavered and he gave up trying to stop the flow of tears trickle down his face, form at the tip of his nose to then fall unceremoniously to the well kept grass bellow.

“Why did you have to leave me like this? We had a plan you and I… ha, I guess you were never really one for sticking to a plan, were you? … Phil I miss you so much, sometimes I wonder how I can live without you- don’t worry! I’m not going to do anything stupid… I just… I just wish I can get to the part where I just think of you and only happy thoughts come, but it has been such a long time but I still cry so much over you… Damn it Philip Lester, you really messed up.” He laughed satire-ly again…

He fiddled with the dying leaves of the flowers. Silence fell again and longer then the last, staying in the air while Dan collected himself and his thoughts.

“I know it may not seem like it but visiting you makes me feel so much better… Talking to you has always made me feel better…”

“I love you Phil.”

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my Tumblr if you wanna... http://moominjaye.tumblr.com/


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